Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
