He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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