she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
