So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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