Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
