I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize