I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
