She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
