just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
