Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Welp...herpes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
