please come you make the beer taste better
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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