This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
