she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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