im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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