He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My feet surprised me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
