When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
