Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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