So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The Olympian is in my bed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
