My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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