i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
