You just made me feel so damn special
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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