I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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