I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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