when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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