HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
