Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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