he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
