Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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