uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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