Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
