I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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