Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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