Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
