My sheets look like a crime scene.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
