Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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