So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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