That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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