New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
