Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
