There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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