I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
