Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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