HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
