the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
