We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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