It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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