of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
