yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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