i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
