i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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