in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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