so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
