Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
