i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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