I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
