She's JV to your varsity
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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