You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
