i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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