So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
