you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
