do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
