If that was your dad, he is hot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
