I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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