While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
