hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
