I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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