I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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