I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
